I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
