so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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