goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
