wat bout pragnant strippers??
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
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My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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