How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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