oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
