I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
