just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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