That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
