my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
