im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Houston, we have a blender
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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