It's Friday. Sex?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
