He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
