are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
