i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
