So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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