Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize