Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize