I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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