I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
