After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
