pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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