She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
