Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Small penises have feelings too.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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