yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
