just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
