Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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