its not stalking. its research.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Randomize
