I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
