Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
