so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
