Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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