just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
