so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
