I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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