The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
