He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
