My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
that is very illegal...i love you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
