hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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