thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
