i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is the high leading the old right now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
