so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
