you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish my penis had an off switch
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
