Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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