I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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