so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
