never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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