I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
