you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
