planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
