He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
