Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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