We need to rekindle our bromance
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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