did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
