I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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