Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize