I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
