No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
high people should be assigned attendants
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
