I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
