I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
