Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize