I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
