You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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