who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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