he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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