You're so nebulous sometimes
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
