I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
