On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
