Dual....:-)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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